Fuck...or actually not.
Today my best friend and conifidant gave me the most curious and I suppose intelligent advice. No sex. No sex. yeah you heard me. no sex. No second party action. no girls no boys. no sex. none. zip. zero. zilch. nadda. nothing. dear fucking god help me. A great volentary bout of abstinence. I suppose being newly single, and horny has the makings of a hidious debacle. And I'm glad the above mentioned friend had the balls(hee hee balls) to say something out of concern. I am frustrated none the less. (only at a later time will I address who if anyone I actually find to have sex with!) All of a sudden i feel like the Nuns from high school are laughing themselve into pissing fits at this very idea.

This is what I imagine ordering my life is like;
Waiter: "miss have you had a chance to peruse the wine list?",
Me: "no no I haven't, what goes with my loneliness heartbreak flambe?",
Waiter:"Why the 94 Chablis orgasmless madam, an agriviating bitter wine with a superbly unsatisfying un-noticable climax and risidual flat chalky aftertaste, it should suit you fine!"
ME:"Alright, what about dessert?, perhaps a Creme Brule`, or Bananna's foster?"
Waiter:"not for you, miss I'm afraid all thats availible for your disposal is tepid lemon water, and low-carb ice cream, or perhaps you'd enjoy a bowl of alone forever?!"

to those who read this and know me well, excuse me but what the fuck am I going to do?
I certainly can't galivant across the bay and sleep with who ever takes my fancy, and it is'nt healthy
emotionally ect, ect. But no sex? its not like air or water, but seriously, I'm the female equivilent to a thriteen year old boy! ahhhhhhhhhhh! Back to dieting and 20 hours a week at the gym! horay?



Fuck... or actually not.

Alright I'm a compleat tool; However I do believe this is more me.




You're all about the music. Not too incredibly
mainstream, but not too incredibly underground.
It's awfully hard for anyone to oppose you,
seeing as how you rule.


What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

drinking always makes me feel lathargic the next day, especially sugary sweet drinks like the hypnotic, and raspberry lemon drops from last night. i am tired and lazy. A beautiful partnership indeed. Part of me longs to be back in San francisco,where I enjoy my newfound freedom, however i feel at risk for relapse here. I wish not to rekindle any past romances or develop tyrsts with people I barely know. I did enjoy the hot tub yeah it was relaxing... I can't wait to be home and create...hang out... fall into the sea for flying too close to the sun.. you know whatever.

my mother is a fucking genius! I e-mailed her eailer saying that my life to date was "sub-par and she said;
"Its ok for life to be sub-par, life is like a roller coaster and we have to live to the fullest where ever were at on the ride!"
hot damn I love this woman!

I woke up this morning and it was raining... I'm still shakeing sand out of my hair and I am the happiest I have been in weeks. That is all I will say.