Fuck...or actually not.
Today my best friend and conifidant gave me the most curious and I suppose intelligent advice. No sex. No sex. yeah you heard me. no sex. No second party action. no girls no boys. no sex. none. zip. zero. zilch. nadda. nothing. dear fucking god help me. A great volentary bout of abstinence. I suppose being newly single, and horny has the makings of a hidious debacle. And I'm glad the above mentioned friend had the balls(hee hee balls) to say something out of concern. I am frustrated none the less. (only at a later time will I address who if anyone I actually find to have sex with!) All of a sudden i feel like the Nuns from high school are laughing themselve into pissing fits at this very idea.

This is what I imagine ordering my life is like;
Waiter: "miss have you had a chance to peruse the wine list?",
Me: "no no I haven't, what goes with my loneliness heartbreak flambe?",
Waiter:"Why the 94 Chablis orgasmless madam, an agriviating bitter wine with a superbly unsatisfying un-noticable climax and risidual flat chalky aftertaste, it should suit you fine!"
ME:"Alright, what about dessert?, perhaps a Creme Brule`, or Bananna's foster?"
Waiter:"not for you, miss I'm afraid all thats availible for your disposal is tepid lemon water, and low-carb ice cream, or perhaps you'd enjoy a bowl of alone forever?!"

to those who read this and know me well, excuse me but what the fuck am I going to do?
I certainly can't galivant across the bay and sleep with who ever takes my fancy, and it is'nt healthy
emotionally ect, ect. But no sex? its not like air or water, but seriously, I'm the female equivilent to a thriteen year old boy! ahhhhhhhhhhh! Back to dieting and 20 hours a week at the gym! horay?



Fuck... or actually not.