So I'm tired...really tired. My painting intensive is sucking my will to breath. I do however appreciate what it is doing for me, as far as skill, and apllication are concerned. (I love every second of it!) I will be going back home sooner than not. This always fills me with an overwhelming sence of frustration, and an abundance of painful memories. I wish I still knew everyone, I kinda wish they were still the same People I used to hang out with, back in the day. I miss those people, but I don't the people they are for the most part today. Something happens to young people who settle early. Their bitterness is no longer optimistic, or even humerous. Its like these kids in their early 20's are thirty eight and take on the presure of the world when they really don't need to accept that sort of responsibility. They seem so miserable. I am no better than any of these kids, but I feel like I managed to escape a dissapointing fate. i almost feel like years 18-21 were a waste, mainly because i can't remember a whole hell of a lot, and I wasn't foused on anything. I am so in love with life right now, it all seems charmed or surreal. I'm fine with that though, its about fucking time! I'm young! I don't want to be tied down to one place geographicly. I don't want to feel a resounding guilt or regret for never doing what I wanted and hanging onto the nearest stable thing. I am slowly begining to like who i am, I like who I hang out with. i like to drink beer, but not for the purpose for getting so fucked up I can't move of talk. I think i may even like living....but the jury is still out on that one.


In better news: I met someones mother yesterday. It felt like alot of pressure, because I'm really into this peson, alot. (hot damn) It was good. dinner, conversation, walking. good good. I was very nervous so I fear I came off like an idiot, but I've been assured time and time again it was fine. yeah. I'm stupid happy right now, i hope it is recepracated. (if its not don't tell me, I love suprise endings!)

oh crap! in less fun news the Student services chick is quitting! she always gave me the good paying jobs on campus! :-(